Powerful Ray Guns Humble Giants

by
Greek Giant

Yonny Chirinios, the Venezuelan God of pitching swagger, humbled the Giants hitting attack with a mixture of high velocity, high movement fastballs, a pitch otherwise known as “The Humiliator”. When he wasn’t blowing the Giants away or sawing off their collective manhood with 98 MPH Humiliators up in the zone he was throwing wicked sliders and curveballs at or around 91 MPH. These pitches are called “The Humbler” and “The De-Humanizer,” respectively. In short, Mr. Chirinos, Diego Castillo, and the Ray Guns of the Tampa Bay Baseballers were simply too powerful, too precise and too persistent for the mere mortals that we call San Francisco Giants hitters.

The Rays can play some exceptional defense too. Kevin Kiermaier had another sensational game in center and some second baseman named Lowe made as good a play as you will ever see a second baseman make, diving to his left to snare a one hop liner off the bat of speedy Giant Steven Dugger. Lowe would snatch the ball like it was a misbehaving child and use his Ray Gun to throw out the Giants once and future center fielder easily, leaving the morgue-like attendees of Wilie Mays Field groaning as if they just found out their millionaire aunt bequeathed them a collective nothing upon giving up the ghost.

Drew Pomeranz was not awful in this game. He was a bit wild and inefficient but yet again, the Giants starter kept his team in a position to win. It’s just that Pomeranz’s fuzz balls were no match for the Humiliators, Humblers and De-Humanizers in the Ray Gun arsenal. It was just that kind of game.

The Rays are a very good team and I wold not be shocked to see them win the AL Pennant.

The Giants, well, they are now 3-7 after the first ten games of the season and kind of in search of an offensive identity. Right now it appears the Giants cannot hit for power, cannot hit for average, but at least they cannot run well (apart from Pillar and Duggar) either.

On the bright side, Kevin Pillar had another sparkling game in center field. I’m feeling better and better about this new Giants outfield arrangement. If only our boys could start hitting a lick…

The Box

Today is Madison Bumgarner day. The Giant Lefty is pitching against the Padres who will proffer Eric Lauer. First pitch is at 6:45 PM, Willie Mays Field time.

On this date in Giants baseball, April 8, 1986, Will Clark smashed a home run off Nolan Ryan in his first Major League at-bat. That’s a debut!